Before I start my day, I will first answer all the details Mom wants to know - so anyone who doesn't care can skip to the next paragraph. Mom, you might very well might be the only one who reads this part. I have attached pictures of all that you requested! Today was camera day. I don't take my camera very often because the kids chase me saying "picha mimi!!" and it gets annoying. They also like the touch the lens - not good! For food - breakfast usually consists of eggs, a little square piece of pound cake, porridge, if we're lucky some banana pancakes, and mango juice. Lunch is different every time ranging from rice and beans to chicken or curry with ugali (like really thick mashed potatoes). Dinner is the smallest meal usually and is kind of the same as lunch just with not as many selections. A lot of lunches and dinners are served with spinach and almost all meals have fruit as a selection, mostly bought from neighbors. I've probably eaten more fruit on this trip than I have in my entire life - and much more variety. Papaya, mango, pineapple, watermelon, and sometimes fruits I don't know how to pronounce. I have a shower that I share with my roommate, so I take one every night before I go to bed. I wake up at 7:45am every morning so I don't want to have to wake up any earlier to take a shower. The bathroom is separate from the shower so if my roommate's showering that's still an option. I actually don't really know what the bathroom question was getting at....we do have one though. I always have to drink bottled water, but we have water dispensers with the big jugs at the top to fill our water bottles with every morning. Any more questions you have I can answer tomorrow over the phone! I hope those were good enough answers for you.

Yesterday was relatively uneventful. It was a rough day of teaching because the kids were really out of control and the teacher isolated me a lot so it was hard to keep them focused, especially when yelling at them doesn't work. B & C classes were again combined, so keeping 75 four year olds quiet for a lesson they don't understand the language in is a challenge. I swear, teaching 30 English speaking kids feels like a breeze at this point. After school the girls and I went into town and I finished my shopping for everyone. You'll like your present!! Then we went home, ate dinner, and I prepared for my final day of teaching and packed. 

Today I walked to and from school so that I could really take in my surroundings for the last time. It was an extremely pleasant walk - about 20 minutes worth - and I met a lot of people on the way! A social worker who works with the local orphanage, two teenage girls who practiced their English on me, a couple little kids who saw my camera and yelled "mzungu picha!!" One this I was proud of was that the guards of the prison knew me well enough and let me right in. You know it's a good day when the guards of an African prison compound know who you are and let you in right away. One of my students met up with me right as I walked in and we chatted and sang the whole way there. Singing is an amazing way of communication I've learned. Music is such a universal language, something I never realized before. At the start of class time, I was with another teacher (one who speaks even less English than the other one) and right away she handed the kids their number books to practice writing. I was hoping to have a fun day with them so I was a little disappointed by her insistence for a real lesson. Then, after the kids started working, she walks up to the board and points to it saying "teacha, teacha" and points to herself. I walk over and realize the primary school exercises are on the board again with the past, active, and future tenses. She wanted me to teach her. So for about 15 minutes I taught the teacher key words in tenses, sentence structure, and "fill in the blank" activities with her, complimenting her on her every success. Not the same teacher, a different one from last time. This must be difficult for these adult women to learn. It was still highly entertaining though.

After I finished that, I was able to take over and I handed out coloring sheets and crayons. Just a simple coloring the picture activity. Something they rarely get to do. They were so focused on this and little angels! Some even stayed into recess to finish their picture. They all gave them to me to keep, so I will be taking them home :) I took some pictures, they had lunch, and after lunch all the kids from classes A, B, and C combined into one classroom for me because it was my last day. Then they did a kind of heart-wrenching performance for me, basically singing all the songs they knew in unison, including ones I taught them. 100 little African voices all singing words I had taught them was so special for me to hear. It made me think that maybe I made a small dent in their progression educationally, or even if it was just in their English proficiency. Even if the most I could do was give them the love that they are deprived of at home, it was worth it. Often times I would come home so frustrated thinking I was making no difference in their lives in a any way. All I was was a teacher they didn't understand who they couldn't learn from. While they were singing all those songs, though, I saw a glimpse of hope that maybe I did do something to help them in some small way. It brought tears to my eyes, and it took everything for me not to let them fall. The kids wouldn't understand & I didn't want to worry them. After that, we handed out a piece of candy to each child (I had gotten candy at the store yesterday in town). They were thrilled, and all had to stand up and chant "Thank you teacha!" and then could eat it. Then the teachers bring out this amazing "kitenge," which is basically a long piece of thick cloth worn by African women. They brought up two children, a boy and a girl, each holding one end and wrapped it around me. The teachers made a knot somewhere, wrapped it around something else, and somehow created this amazing skirt/dress. It is so beautiful with vibrant blue and an amazing pattern. These women are not well-off either, so I can't believe they had gotten it for me. It was such a meaningful gesture, giving me something special from their culture as a gift. It definitely did not make it any easier to hold back the tears. I thanked them profusely, giving each a kiss on each cheek. Following the kitenge, we had all the kids go outside to get a group photo. School was over by then, so some of them started walking home. I stayed behind to thank the teachers again and again for allowing me to teach at their school, etc. and they were so loving and so wonderful to me. I said my goodbyes and walked with all the kids (most were waiting at the gate for me) all the way home. 

It was hard for me to say goodbye to the kids. To just let them run off to their homes where most of them don't have enough food, sleep on the ground, being taught by teachers who barely have an education themselves. At least when I was in the bulk of my teaching experience I could look forward to the next day where I could do something else to effect their lives in some positive way. There are no more "next days" for me to try again for, like utter defeat. I did what I can, but I'll always wonder if it was enough. 3 weeks is not a very long time to make a lasting impression and I'll probably never know if I really did do something that helped them in their lives. I gave love and compassion and anything else that I could but is it just cancelled out when they go home that afternoon to a home where their dad beats their mother, or the parents are never home, or they simply never get any kind of positive attention? There's nothing I can do about that. I've accepted that. I can't change their situations or governmental corruption or parents' amount of income or how their dad treats their mother. The only thing I did have control over was how well I did at my job and how hard I tried at it. I wish I had more time to prove to myself that I did my best, because that's a hard reality to come by. I'll always think that I could have done better, I could have been less frustrated when they were acting up, I could have I could have I could have... but I know that's getting me nowhere, so it's illogical to continue that thought process. I guess emotion is just going to have to win that battle though because logic definitely isn't. I'll probably always think I could have done better, but one thing I do know is that I tried. Maybe the only thing I can agree upon, but I'll take it. I didn't change lives, but there's a possibility I aided in the progression towards it. 

Mom & Dad - Thank you so much for giving me this amazing opportunity. If I didn't do it now, I really doubt I ever would have done it in my lifetime. Up until June 15th, this will have been the best experience of my life so far. It opened me up to a completely new way to view the ideas behind happiness, the effort behind hard work, the bliss that comes from simplicity, how a little bit can go really far, and so many other things. I hate when people say how things like this "changed their lives" because we all know they're going to go back home and live relatively the same way they were before they had gone. That will probably be me, so I'm not going to attempt that statement. What I can say, though, is it changed the way that I view life - it gave me a new perspective to go off of. That's something I've never had before. I've had a pretty sheltered life because of you and I thank you for that, but this was really good for me. Like, really good for me. I needed to see this other perspective because honestly, sometimes the only one I had before was suffocating me. You gave me the adventure of a lifetime and it's made me a better person. So thank you so so much for letting me do this. You are amazing parents and should give yourself all the credit for this trip and any improvements it made in me. I love you so much. 

Where lunch is cooked

The teachers looked through my photobook (of me from baby to now) for about 20 minutes this morning, pointing out my Baba, Mama, Dada (sister), & Kakas (brothers). It became somewhat of a game. They loved all of you!

Head teacher over class A

Teacher over class B on left

Wash hands before lunch

Clean dishes after lunch (Andrea & I usually do them)

I know she looks depressed, but I thought this was such a good picture with the lighting , etc.

They loooove bubbles!

My little Amani

Chanting "Thank you teacha!"

Getting the kitenge

All the kids and me!

For anyone that needs to know, my flight leaves tomorrow at 8:40pm from Kilimanjaro. Then it gets into Amsterdam at 7:05am on Sunday, flies into Atlanta at 12:40pm, and finally into SLC at 4:13pm. I'm saving a lot of hours of my life flying West :) I will definitely call those who expect it (you know who you are) in my Atlanta layover, but beware I only have a 2 hour layover and have to go through customs. Also beware Caleb will be the first person I call because I love him. I will talk to you all soon!! I love you! 

Today was wonderful. I know, I'm sure my drastic emotional changes are giving you a whiplash. At least you don't have to marry me (sorry Caleb). The school day started out great! There were FINALLY 3 teachers, so I got my B class of about 15 four & five year olds all to myself instead of my normal 45 two to five year olds. When only two teachers show up, B & C classes combine to make the class of 45 with too much range in age to teach anything that meets all their needs. This has been my case the last week and a half. Now that it is just B class I feel like I can really make progress on their learning. The little ones before were holding me down (because they shouldn't even be in school yet). I was able to go over writing numbers, went over the song again, taught them more animals & had them draw and color their favorite animal out of all of them teaching them "my favorite..." in English! A new teacher helped me in the class and she didn't speak any English, so it was just me as far as the lessons went. 


The teacher that usually is with me, though, was walking around all day singing "I weega ma finga, I weega ma tooe..." looking at me after every phrase for me to confirm it was correct. At "now no more wiggles are left in me" she had a really hard time and I'd have to say the sentence and she'd repeat it. When she finished every time I'd say "nzuri sana!!" (very good) and she would laugh and laugh, so proud of herself. When it comes to English, these teachers are just like the kids I teach. Also during lunch the teachers made me eat the food they were serving. Corn and beans, called "mahindi", and it looked just about like the consistency of mud. I shoveled it down though because you do not waste food here. It dropped to the bottom of my stomach like a rock. I never saw it come up the other way, though, so I guess my stomach really is made of steel. 


After school, the girls and I went to town to look at the different shops that we've just heard about but never been to. I got some great ideas for presents for all of you! I need to get that done in the next two days though...eek. Again, just wanna say how much I love it in town. Fast paced, always some African music jam going on, all types of people with the most random things to sell, anything and everything being balanced on womens' heads, the craziest fruit you've ever seen being sold, there's even a "movie theatre" consisting of a TV in a van with the door open and at least 3 dozen people gathered around it watching a movie. It's so fun. 


I took pictures of kids/school today, but it's late here and I don't really have time to upload a bunch, so I'll just do a couple. I'll have more for you later. Love you all and see you soon!!

My classroom

Magareza Prison Nursery School

Kids at lunch - they barely ever get this much food so they were in a VERY good mood today!

Yep, with my hands

My favorite little boy, Amani. I kept telling him to smile by putting my fingers at the corners of my mouth and smiling at him, and this was the result of his interpretation of "smile" =) 

Today was an emotionally straining day. Before I tell you something sad, though, I'll tell you something happy.


This morning's class began with the teacher getting upset with me that I was erasing the blackboard of all its writing. What was on the board? Lessons from a previous, much more advanced, class that must meet after my kids' school day. I erase their lessons almost every morning. Today, though, I was erasing exercises which involved the older students changing an active sentence to a passive one, passive to present, etc. As I was erasing, the teacher came up saying "no, no, no!" I looked at her questioningly as she attempted to explain that she had wanted me to teach off of that. I asked her, "You want to teach these kids this?"She nodded yes, so I asked her 2 more times just to see if I was hearing her right. So...she wanted me to teach the difference between passive, active, and present tense to 4 and 5 year olds...who barely knew how to write their own names let alone form a sentence of any tense. Hm. The teacher seemed so adamant though, so I began teaching! The kids were all blank stares, of course. What I realized a couple seconds into the lesson, though, is the lesson was not for the kids. This teacher had placed herself in a desk next to the children and was glued to my every word. As I would speak the words, during the entire lesson she would slightly nod her head and lightly whisper the words I was saying to herself. When I asked the students to repeat things like, "played - passive, playing - active" she was be the loudest voice in the crowd. As she was so heavily involved in the lesson, it was such a funny sight when I turned to write words on the board I had to release the silent laughs that were being choked down by my conscience. Maybe you had to be there, but even thinking of that image makes me laugh to myself. I'll never forget how concentrated she was on every word and how blank the kids' stares were that lesson. 


As for the emotional distress of the day - it started at lunchtime when the parent of a child came down to the schoolyard to talk to the teachers. Her son was afraid to go to school because every day he was being bullied by a specific student. A couple of other kids, hearing this, piped up saying they were getting kicked or slapped by this same student. This bully, named Nasi, was called over by the teacher from my class. He was taken into the lunchroom alone with this teacher. I was standing right there as I heard her beat him with a stick as he was yelping and crying out in pain. The mother that had come to the schoolyard was satisfied by this. Nasi stumbled out of the lunchroom crying and crying and ran away from the teacher as soon as he was let go. Usually for things that hurt others we just wince at the thought of their pain, but this was an ongoing pain that I felt for this boy. Yeah, he's a bully and he shouldn't hit or kick others, but is hitting him going to teach him not to hit others? I've never in my life heard a child react to that treatment thanks to my perfect and sheltered upbringing, but hearing it for the first time was agonizing. Yesterday no porridge, today child abuse. The compilation of those two emotional endeavors was too much for me to handle. I asked the teachers if there was any other way to punish children that didn't involve hurting them, but they just laughed at my reaction saying this is how it is. Children misbehave they get hit with a stick. It is just an accepted part of their culture. I got home extremely upset and had to attempt to calm down. The more reality of these children's lives hits me, the harder it is to bear. 


Following school, what better than visiting an orphanage to top my emotional distress? I will admit, it was a much more joyful experience than the other reason for my being upset. At an orphanage you feel a strange mixture of joy and sorrow. The kids are so happy and they emit so much love and soak up all the love that you can afford to give it is such a humbling experience. You really are so happy to be around this, and you can't help but smile and smile, even if it is just to give the kids something to hold onto. You hug, hold hands, just physically contact these kids as much as possible because they are so in need of it. Simultaneously, though, deep inside you feel the greatest sorrow for the fact that they have nothing, not even a family. Their parents, somewhere out there, abandoned them and they might not even understand why yet and blame themselves. They have traumatic dreams that make them wet the bed and then the mattress rots but there's not enough money to buy a new one. They cook out of a brick and tarp shack, attempting to feed 40 hungry mouths. They sleep 3 to a bed even if they are older teenagers. Suffice it to say, it wasn't an easy visit. It was so worth it and I loved every moment, but it makes me hurt inside to see. I guess everything that happened today created a terrible concoction of emotions that I don't know how to handle. I hope reality is done slapping me in the face because this is too much already. 


To end on a happier note, the man who runs this orphanage, Rosmin, is probably the most humble and amazing person I have met. He started it with his wife on their own, and when people saw that he started taking in street kids they would drop kids off at his doorstep and he hasn't ever turned one away. Anyways, he has a particular liking for me because I interact with the kids really well and he was asking when I would be back. As I was explaining to him that I'm leaving Saturday he got very sad, but then another volunteer explained it was because I'm getting married. He just laughed and laughed at that, and looked at me to break out the "just kidding!" or something. When I said I was serious he exclaimed, "but you're too young!" and I said "I'm 22!" His face was shocked for a second and then he shook his head saying, "I thought you were 12!" I really think he did because it wasn't a sarcastic comment, genuine at its best. 


I know tomorrow will be a better day. The kids are getting corn and rice for lunch and I'm bringing my camera, which they love. I will make sure to post them tomorrow! I love you all! See you soon.

This is Rosmin

A picture following the "funny" one

Today was wonderful!! Two teachers showed up, so we combined the two younger classes and I taught while the other teacher stared the kids down. Mom, they almost have the "I wiggle my fingers, I wiggle my toes..." song down! My goal is that they have it mastered by the time I leave. The teacher that sat in with me had just gotten off duty as a guard (the teachers also work as guards for the prison), so I don't think she had slept that night. She was extra crabby with the students, so they were angels for me the entire class time. As one of my lessons, we practiced writing the letter "M" in lower and upper-case. Afterwards, we switched their pencils out for crayons and let them draw pictures of a rainy day or a sunny day (trying to teach them weather) on the same sheet of paper but on the backside.  Funny story - Andrea who helps with the older class taught them the itsy-bitsy spider (I didn't teach my kids that, the english is too difficult for how young they are), and I let her borrow that spider you sent me. The one that vibrates when you pull on the string. Apparently when Andrea took it out to go with the song the kids stopped singing and were genuinely scared of the spider! They didn't understand and made the most frightened faces and backed away from the it. Andrea, seeing these reactions, put the spider away and the kids finally settled down. I guess cultures are different as well as environments, and here, spiders like that actually exist. Kids also aren't used to having toys like that so they might not know it's something to laugh about. The kids did not see that as a fun prop. It's terrible, but picturing that in my head is highly entertaining. 


After the first part of the day the teacher let the kids out to play/lunch like normal. After I walked outside, though, I noticed something different. The lunchroom wasn't being set up and the "kitchen" shack wasn't smoking (from the cooking fire). That's when I found out the kids weren't getting any porridge that day. They didn't have enough food, so couldn't feed the kids. I thought I was done with slaps in the face from being exposed to the third-world poverty, but this really dug into me. I love these kids so much at this point; seeing that there was no food for them and their little stomachs wouldn't be filled killed me. I know they didn't get any breakfast, and now it was almost noon and they still had had nothing. Because there was no food for lunch, which by their reactions might occur more often than I'd like, the teachers send the kids home. Trying to teach hungry kids doesn't work. Andrea and I walked home with the kids, and we were about 1/4 mi. away from the prison gates when our CCS van pulled up. At this point about 15 kids were still walking with us, so with the permission of the driver we piled all the kids in the van and drove them the rest of the way to the gate. They LOVED it. I wonder if some of them have ever even been in a car. It made the whole "them starving" misery ease off a little from seeing their laughing faces during the ride.  


This afternoon a batik artist came to the home base and taught us how to create a batik painting! We each did our own. I will explain the process to you through pictures: 

First, start with a plain piece of cloth

Draw the outline of the picture you are planning to paint. I did three lions under a tree in front of a sunset.

Flip the cloth around and saturate it with water. Then begin painting, with a sponge, the backdrop of your painting. For me, it was the sunset. 

Note the fading colors. Because of the water soaked into the cloth, the colors fade into each other extremely well.

Turn the cloth right side up and paint wax onto the parts of the painting you want to protect from the black silhouette. Whatever you don't paint in wax will soon become black. 

This is the painting en process of painting it black to create silhouettes.  Because the wax is there, the black doesn't bleed anywhere besides where it's supposed to. 

I forgot to take a picture of this, but before this ^ step, we crumpled up our cloths and rubbed them together, making all the wax fold into each other and fall off the cloth. The wax turned into tiny balls that we had to rub off, trying to get all the wax possible off. After we rubbed off all we could, you iron your cloth to flatten and melt any remaining wax back into the painting. You can see the difference between the top and bottom of this cloth from the wax melting because of the iron. 

Finished!

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY MOM!!!!!!! I don't know if you saw, but I called you! I got a special calling card and everything! It was supposed to be a surprise :) I think you were at church, though. I left a voice message so make sure to listen to it. You are the best Mom ever, never forget it! I love you, and have an amazing Mother's Day. 


I purposefully didn't post anything yesterday because I decided to just clump the weekend into one post. It was a wonderful and successful weekend! Sometimes, I just wish I could rewind time and redo my exact weekend just to be able to experience it again. On Saturday I climbed Mt. Kilimanjaro!! Not to the top....but nobody needs to know that. The only downside to this day is that it was an extremely rainy day. All day ranging from a mist to a downpour, and it only gets worse as you near the mountain. The hike was gorgeous though, with tangled vines draped with moss, lush green rainforest, rivers running through the thicket, and a mist rising from the ground because of the rain. We also saw monkeys! Blue ball monkeys, they're called. They swing through the trees, jumping from branch to branch, making the leaves rain drops down on us. I got extremely close to a baby hanging on a tree. We sat there, staring at each other for a straight minute. It was so incredible. The entire hike up was beautiful, but exhausting. We trekked approximately 4 1/2 miles up, and 4 1/2 back down - 9 miles altogether. Going up was steep, rocky, and by the end my legs felt like jello. After my body was broken down and pleading for nutrients, I downed my lunch, and then we made our way back down. The hike down was much more pleasant. I felt like I was really able to take in the scenery. 

This is the little one I had a "moment" with

One thing to note while climbing Kilimanjaro - safari ants. You can barely make them out on the trail until you really focus, but they gather into clumps crawling on top of one another by the thousands. When you first see them it seems like an illusion because it looks like the ground is moving. Then you get closer and realize there are thousands of ants crawling on top of each other all in a clump. The worst is when you don't see them and step into one of these clumps. They latch onto your shoe and slowly crawl up it, inside, and then ever so lightly make their way up your leg. The thing is you don't feel them crawling up you, so you don't know they're there until they bite, you yelp, reach into your pants and find a dead ant laying between your pinched fingers. I must have had extremely accessible shoes, because this happened to me multiple times throughout the trip. It's not that I stepped in the clump, believe me after the first time I was very cautious, but where there is a clump there are stragglers a couple feet before it that you can't make out. I was bitten on my feet (4 on my right foot, 3 on my left), knee, upper thigh, and back! Don't know how that last one got there, but they'll find a way! It was annoying to say the least, and Trent, I have no idea why you're investing so much time into those devil critters or anything related to them, but it definitely made the trip less enjoyable. 


The next day, today I guess, I hiked through Arusha National Park. This is a park that is well known for its giraffes, buffalos, and hippos. What is great about this park is that you can walk through it. There aren't any aggressive animals so walking is allowed. Of course a ranger with a gun comes with you just in case, but overall a really safe environment. We also got to paddle on canoes up to where the hippos live. A lot of the trip includes driving in a safari car because the park is relatively big, but a lot more "hands-on" as far as safari trips go. It was amazing! I got to walk right up to the buffalo, there were warthogs or "Pumbas", zebras, dik-diks, and an assortment of birds and storks. Being non-aggressive in nature, of course they run away most of the time, but it was still really neat. Paddling in the canoes made me miss home in Minnesota, but the hippos did not. It was a little scary because they kill the most people out of all the animals in a typically safari trip, but we stayed far enough away that it wasn't a concern of mine. It's just that they can stay under the water for 20 minutes tops, so if you canoe over their territory they'll come up and kill you even though you had no idea they were underneath you. They make the funniest sound, kind of a like a really loud grunt. I saw a Momma and her baby with Daddy protecting the two. I saw a python!! It was curled up on this little island right off shore, and as we were looking at it's curled up body it's head popped out and started slithering towards the edge of the island! That was my cue to start paddling the canoe backwards in a very rapid motion. I also think I was better at handling a canoe than the tour guide. On our way out from the park, a herd of giraffes were crossing the road and eating right in front of us!! They are such beautiful animals. Pictures don't do them justice. Like zebras, their patterns are so intricate, vibrant, and unique. The animal itself has such a graceful and elegant delicacy, it's beautiful in nature. Most of the ones we saw were either babies or very young. Also on our way out we saw colobus monkeys! They are black and white and have the looongest hair. They look bigger than a typical monkey, maybe more like a sloth. It was so exciting to see so many different animals on this trip, most of which were very close. Really an amazing day. 

Can you see the python in there? If you look at it long enough, you can make out it's head and eye. It's at the top of the body, its eye looking at you between the grass. 

How many giraffes can you count? (Answer: 5)

I got this one in the process of jumping from one branch up to the next

After we got home I remembered something important I needed to do. If you remember from a couple posts back, I told you about the kids across the street and how they had asked "do you have a futbol?" and they had nothing to play futbol with. Following that story Dad sent me an email telling me to get those kids a soccer ball! So this afternoon I took their brand new futbol funded by Dad, and they were SO excited. I told them that I had told my dad they didn't have a futbol so he told me to go get them a futbol! They smiled at that and immediately thanked me for it. Right away they began playing with it. I think the oldest boy, about 9 years old, was the most excited. He LOVES soccer, so right when he got it he began to show off tricks that he knows. It amazes me that to give them something so simple can make them so happy. Thank you, Dad, for telling me to do that and giving me the means to buy things so I can do things like that.